So my girlfriend got me one of those posters that has rules on surviving the zombie apocalypse:
Home is where the hatchet is: Create a home base with plenty of weapons-the sharper the better.
Watch expiration dates: Stockpile food and water for long periods of time. Canned food is good. Junk food is even better.
Knock knock: Who’s there? A Zombie! Be sure to create a stron gentry and exit door. Barridcade all doors and windows.
Your Mom: Trust no one- not even your mom. (Even if your friends think she’s hot)
Have a bruning desire: Zombies hate fire. Learn to make fire with everyday objects.
Wear Protection: Avoid all zombie body fluids. Yuck!
Wear Sunglasses: A nice pair of shades always looks cool and will protect your eyes.
Run for your life: Stay fit and fast. Most zombies run like the chubby kid in your third grade class.
Batter up: zombie down. Keep a large, blunt object nearby and ready to swing at all times. A bat, crowbar, or sturdy tree limb usually works nicely.
No brain, no pain: Decapitating a zombie is best but kind of gross. Key is to destroy the brain stem.
Beware of bush: Stay clear of bushes and shrubbery in general.
Stagger and drool: Learn to stagger, lumber, and drool. make zombies think you’re one of them. Just pretenedn you’re a gym teacher.
Cliche is okay: Always check closets and under beds before relaxing in front of the tv
boobies are good: Set up boobyt traps as warnings and alerts: trip wires and rattling cans are a good idea
Slippery knovs: try putting vaseline on doorknobs. Zombies get frustrated.
Nice to meat you: Always leave raw meat out in the open to distract zombies. Better they eat it than you.
Always wash your hands: Hey, Maybe your mom was right!
Objects in mirrors: Check backseats before buckling in.
Don’t get mauled: Avoid populated ares like shopping malls and movie theatres. To a zombie, those are an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Go all the way: A wounded zombie is not a dead zombie.
So while I agree with most of these, there are a couple of snags…
#5: The idea that zombies hate fire is from the Father of Zombies, George A. Romero. In his movies (Night of the Living Dead, etc) he made his “ghouls” afraid of fire. Of course remember, at that time they weren’t even called zombies, and there was no science in his movies. They were all completely created in his mind, with no real-world facts to back it up. So we have no idea if they are scared of fire, but they have no reason to.
#6: Not only bodily fluids, but still wear protection, because do you really want a baby when the apocalypse is new and unstable? (I’m looking at you Walking Dead)
#8: All evidence suggests that zombies will have more endurance than any person, ever. So along with needing to pay more attention to speed than endurance (because theres no way you can last longer), you should also pick up a little bit of parkour, so that you can climb over things that zombies can’t.
#12: Based on current theories, zombies will notice that you are living by your smell more than your movement. So there is no trying to walk past them, unless you smear zombie guts all over you.
#15: From what we know, zombies won’t have the brain capacity to know what a doorknob is, much less know how to use one.
#16: Its not so much that they are driven by hunger, more so they are driven by the need to spread the infection. It’s just like the common cold, you don’t sneeze for fun, you do it to spread the infection to other people.
Other than that, this poster is pretty spot-on. Have any questions? Inbox me!
SPOILERS: So The Walking Dead has returned, and it is AWESOME!
The Governor is a Bad@ss, and Rick has gone off the Deep end. I will be honest that over the 4 month break, I kinda forgot how gore-y they make the zombies. I was a bit shocked when I saw the first one. If you aren’t watching the after show “The Talking Dead” you are missing out! It is hosted by Chris Hardwick (Creator of Nerdist), and it has guests every episode. On the comeback episode, it had the guy who plays Glenn, and the guy from Comic Book Men (another great show). On the second ever episode of Talking Dead, they had Matt Mogk, the creator of the Zombie Research Society, which is actually how I found out about them, and really sparked my zombie craze (I am now a paid member).
So what was your favorite part of the new episode? Inbox Me!
So in case you haven’t heard, this is a movie out, called Warm Bodies. As a date night, great movie. But from a zombie nerd point of view:
zombies come back to life
they can talk
they can operate a record player
they can unlock and open a door
they can use weapons
they can think
they eat brains
they can communicate
ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE FALSE
Good enough movie. Basically does to Zombies what Twilight did to Vampires.
The main chick looks like Kristen Stewart
The main love interest is pale and undead
It gets a lot of the lore wrong
Luckily World War Z is coming out soon, and that will be more like Buffy, bringing respect to zombies again. In case you haven’t noticed, once the last Twilight movie came out, the huge vampire surge stopped, and the next wave of entertainment is zombies. This was started because of The Walking Dead, now Warm Bodies is the first movie to make a break for it. World War Z is coming out, and I can imagine a lot more, decent zombie stuff coming soon. Just you wait.
They are cured by love/compassion
eating brains allows them to see the memories of the person they are eating, allowing them to feel “human” again
It’s a stupid movie. I only went for my girlfriend.
So its almost the end of the world, and my school is freaking out!
There are gonna be cops everywhere, no one will be allowed to have their backpack, and we will only be able to use 2 entrances…yeah
The administration has been forced by “the community” to take extra precautions tomorrow because there are rumors of bomb threats, gun threats, mustard gas threats, etc.
So tomorrow, I’m gonna bring a clicky pen, and when we are just sitting in class, I’m gonna take out the clicky pen, look around, take a deep breath, close my eyes, and click it. I wanna see if people see me, and if they do, how they would react. I’ve told my friends, and they said I’m gonna get tackled…I CAN’T WAIT :D
Also, I reminded my zombie team what to do in case tomorrow is the zombie apocalypse. Also, many of my friends started sucking up to me when they realized that I would be able to save them XD
Well, tomorrow night, I should be able to go to another “Ginger party” that I told you about last weekend :P
Then, from the 22nd-26th, I’m gonna be in VEGAS!!
Since my family moved here (Utah), our closest relatives worth seeing are in Arkansas, so we decided to party it up for Christmas this year.
During the day-to-day of the zombie apocalypse, I will have 3 missions: Recon, Stab, Grab
During Recon, I will have a team spend the whole day scouting new areas, gathering intel, with little to no contact with any zombies. They will also be in charge of discussing agreements with other survivors, whether it be “leave us alone or we’ll kill you” or “lets team up”. My team will be willing to accept other teams, and it will be entirely up to the other groups. (See “Other Survivors” to see how to respond)
The recon team will bring maps, and mark other survivors, zombie hordes, etc. They will spend their entire day doing that.
What will you be driving around in during ZDay? Personally, I just got my first car, a 1999 Ford Explorer. Yes, I would prefer black in a zombie car, but first cars are never perfect are they?
Now, Max Brooks talks about vehicles in his “Zombie Survival Guide.” Sedans-Not good for off road. Trucks (All types)- Crappy gas mileage, not good off-road. Bus- Only good as moving fortresses, not good for transportation. Armored Car- Same as bus. Motorcycle-fast, light, all terrain, small gas, no protection. SUV- not always for off-terrain, not always very safe.
In “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Zombies,” Matt Mogk doesn’t compare vehicles, but points out how gas stations could be emptied in a matter of days, thus limiting many available modes of transportation.
Now, gas will be very hard to come by, so I hope you like siphoning. I have already decided that whenever I come across a parking lot, or crowded road, or any car for that matter, I will scavenge the heck out of it, including gas and any/all equipment that could become necessary. Now, this won’t help me too much, but hopefully enough that I can use my SUV for limited, yet important missions.
Now as for protection, I will rip road signs off their posts, and drill them over almost all of the windows. All, of course, except for the windshield. For that, hopefully I will be able to afford a little diddy before ZDay arrives. There is a special kind of glass, and the only thing that makes it special, is that it is reinforced with chicken wire. This will give it just enough help to (hopefully), not be smashed in by zombies/crazy people trying to get to me/my stuff.
If you have any questions, please, feel free to ask.
Today I got “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Zombies” by Matt Mogk in the mail. I had to stop after reading 44 pages, because my head is about to explode with zombie ideas. Great book! I suggest every zombie fan or anyone interested in zombies, to buy. Kills many misconceptions, takes examples from pop-culture, and real scholarly work. I read a mathematical essay about zombies, because it was mentioned in the book, even though I had no idea what it was saying. It’s also available as an eBook, but I prefer the softcover, so I can bring it with me on ZDay. BUY IT!
There are 3 phases to the zombie apocalypse: Initial Outbreak, Survival, Rebuild.
During rebuild, 90%+ of all zombies are gone, they are not the threat. Now is when the smartest succeed. This is the new world order. You can restart however you want. You are a new country, what are your laws?
My new world order:
Latin will be taught
grammar is more important
there is a set currency to avoid inflation
Communism is NOT bad if done right
You can create the country you believe in. You can restart. This is what I daydream of.
There are 3 phases to the Zombie Apocalypse: Initial Outbreak, Survival, Rebuild.
During the Survival, that will be the day-to-day. Killing zombies, scavenging for supplies, dealing with other survivors. This is where the most willed will succeed. In order to survive this part, you must keep your head clear. Think about how you have survived the hardest part, and this is just a routine. If you can keep calm, that is all you need. Exercise, read, and find a form of entertainment. This is really just keeping sane. If you can get through this, you will emerge wise and great.
There are 3 phases to the Zombie Apocalypse: Initial Outbreak, Survival, Rebuild.
In the Initial Outbreak, there will be mass panic, and it is the most dangerous phase. This is where the toughest will succeed. People will be killing, stealing, and mourning 24/7, for at least a month. During this time, lay low, avoid contact with others as much as possible, and just worry about organizing your own plans. People get trampled to death on Black Friday (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008448574_shop290.html).
If that kind of response comes from getting nice deals, imagine how people are gonna respond when its a life or death situation for their families. It will be bad.
When communicating with your team in the zombie apocalypse, it is important to understand what needs to be understood (you don’t say!?!). On my team, I am planning on having a guy/girl designated to communication. They will be able to fix any radios, including walkie-talkies among the team, along with a CB radio, to try to communicate with other survivors. Also, I am learning different forms of communication(sign language, morse code, phonetic alphabet, etc). If you don’t know the phonetic alphabet, it is so that you can spell over the radio without being mistaken for another letter (you know, like b,c,d,e,g,p,t,v,z).
The phonetic alphabet is as follows: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, Xray, Yankee, Zulu.
What I have done is make a code for almost every letter, for common occurrences, or emergencies.
Whats more dangerous than zombies in a zombie apocalypse? Other people. Here is how I will deal with other survivors.
Thieves (Only want to take your stuff and leave): Tell them to return the stolen goods and leave, or die. If they leave without returning what they have stolen, hunt them down until you retrieve your items, or other items of equal value. Whatever you do, don’t steal more stuff, because that makes you the bad guy
Terrorists (Tell you that you must do exactly what they say, or they will be hostile): Only offer guns or renewable resources, because a gun is nothing without ammo, and you can get renewable resources.
Kidnappers (Like terrorists, but will abduct one of your teammates in return for supplies): Communicate with the abducted to see what they think is a fair trade. Whatever they say, it allows you to see their true colors, and see what they really want.
Traders (Only interested in fair, peaceful trade of goods): Barter with them, don’t get angry, don’t get irritated. Use common sense.
Moochers (People who walk by, and ask you for some supplies, then they will leave): You should tell the rest of your team, and let them each give their personal supplies, if they wan to. Don’t take from group supplies, its not fair to eh other team members.
Joiners (People who wish to join your team): You should let them, but give them a 24 hr period in which to find a way to contribute to the group, or they will be kicked back out.
Claimers (People who walk in and say that the building now belongs to them, and you have to listen to them) Tell them that THEY have to join YOU and YOUR team, or they must leave. If they refuse, use force.
Other people in the zombie apocalypse are dangerous people. You must understand what they want from you, and use the appropriate response to them. Also, when it comes to defenses, don’t think “can a zombie get through here?” Think “can a person get through here?”
What about my children? If they live, what kind of life would they have? Well, this is my idea of the perfect post-apocalyptic childhood.
0-4: Stay normal, nothing too fancy yet.
5-12: Officially taught English (learn rhetoric!), Math (basic arithmetic), gun care, water filtration, other survival skills in a protected environment.
13-?: They choose an “occupation”(fighting, health care, farming, etc), and learn to perfect it.
The reason for the “?” is they choose an age to be treated as an adult, however, when they choose that, they must go out into the wilderness and survive, by themselves, for 24 hours. Some of them may die, but for the ones that survive, it will truly help them realize, once and for all, what kind of world they are living in. This may seem dark, but this is how I will be raising my kids in the zombie apocalypse.
1) If you haven’t seen the movie, go see it now. You can stream it on Netflix.
2)The first ever zombie movie…or was it? In 1964, when George A. Romero made this classic, it wasn’t a zombie movie. At that time, zombies were still the voodoo of the Haitian folklore (to be discussed in a later post). Not once in the entire movie does it describe the creatures as zombies. They are “ghouls”. In fact, they don’t even count as zombies. According to the Zombie Research Society, a zombie has to be spread by a biological infection. In NotLD, it is radiation from falling space junk. Ergo, not a zombie. Also, people get the false idea that zombies come from the grave because of this movie, but it isn’t true. They think this because the first “zombie” in the movie was seen when the female protagonist is with her brother in the cemetery mourning their mother.
This doesn’t mean that that is where they come from. Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t like Romero. His idea is what sprang the modern zombie idea today. He is a visionary and a great director. And just like how Colombus thought the Native Americans were from India, the first person to do anything is gonna be wrong about things. Like I said, go watch the movie if you haven’t seen it yet, but don’t believe everything it says. Watch it for what it is, the first.
Zombies do not eat brains: If zombies eat brains, then how is destroying the brain the only way to kill a zombie, there wouldn’t be any brain left.
Zombies do not come out of their graves: Can a normal human claw their way out of a casket, and then climb up through 6 feet of dirt? No, then how can a zombie. Even without worrying about air, that is too much weight pressing down on the body. This idea comes from the first zombie movie (to be discussed in a later post).
Zombies do not have super-strength/speed/powers. Imagine the human body as a tool kit. Now someone else took your tools, but there aren’t magically more tools just because they have them,. Zombies have all the same abilities of humans, without fine motor skills (climbing ladders, hopping over a ditch), logic, or non-animalistic thinking.
Zombies can do more than shamble around. As I have just noted, zombies have all the same physical abilities as humans, thus allowing them to run. HOwever, they do have an advangtage. In humans, when you are working your muscles so hard that not enough oxygen is getting to them, your body secretes lactic acid, which is really only telling you through pain to slow down and breath more. The cure to this lactic acid is slowing down and breathing more. However, this is most likely lost in zombies, because they don’t need oxygen, and their brain function in charge of taking care of the body is gone.
Zombies won’t die from catching on fire. All the skin cells of the zombie body aren’t necessarily dead, but can’t feel pain. They can feel an item in their hand, and a baseball bat hitting them on the head, but it won’t hurt. Some humans have the same disorder, called Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis. It is more than likely that zombies ill have the same thing. This is a blessing and a curse. Zombies can’t feel pain, so beating them constantly in the torso, shooting them in the leg, or having serious dismemberment, won’t slow them down. However, luckily for us, this means that they will walk into giant sharpened spears sticking out of the ground, if we are on the other side. So as I originally stated, setting gthem on fire will burn them down until there is nothing left to burn, but until they are rendered immobile, the will continue to chase after you.